Malicious Generosity
by Revriley
Summary: Inspired by Lestrade poking fun at Holmes's allergy in "The Doctor's Case" -Watson solves a case before Holmes- by Stephen King. Note that the Canon has no mention of an actual allergy. I have put the quotes from the story in. Waston is a major character


**Malicious Generosity**

**Full Summary: **Inspired by Lestrade poking fun at Holmes's allergy in "The Doctor's Case" (Watson solves a case before Holmes) By Stephen King, I went and played with the idea. Note that in the Canon there is no mention of an actual allergy. I have put the quotes here.

**Disclaimer:** No, I do not own them.

**Note: This is all in fun, and I have actually been working on a real story (Involving Lestrade), which hopefully will be posted soon. Also in my stories I generally have Watson having both an injury to his leg and his shoulder as it is never clear in the stories what he has. (His shoulder mention in SIS, leg for others)**

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**Quotes: **"I could only gape at this, and try to multiply in my head. While I was coming to the conclusion that Lord Hull had intended to disinherit both wife and children in favour of a resthome for felines, Holmes was looking sourly at Lestrade and saying something which sounded to me like a total _non sequitur_. "I am going to sneeze, am I not?" Lestrade smiled. It was a smile of transcendent sweetness. "Yes, me dear Holmes! Often and profoundly, I fear." Holmes removed his pipe, which he had just gotten drawing to his satisfaction (I could tell by the way he settled back slightly in his seat), looked at it for a moment, and then held it out into the rain. More dumbfounded than ever, I watched him knock out the damp and smouldering tobacco. "How many?" Holmes asked. "Ten," Lestrade said with a fiendish grin. _-_Stephen King, _The Doctor's Case_

"Holmes sneezed repeatedly and kicked out at the cat. It went with a reproachful backward look rather than with the angry hiss one might have expected from such an old campaigner. Holmes looked at Lestrade over the napkin with reproachful, watery eyes. Lestrade, not in the least put out of countenance, thrust his head forward and grinned like a monkey. "Ten, Holmes," he said. "_Ten_. House is full of felines. Hull loved 'em." And with that he walked off. -Stephen King, _Then Doctor's Case_

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If memory serves me, there was only one occasion upon which I found it prudent to mention one of the only hindrances to Holmes's career. He was certainly very lucky in our cases (I admit to a measure of pride when I say 'our') –for I recall few times in which he had the misfortune to deal with a client who owned cats. When this happened, I usually was subjected to many earnest reminders of a promise I had made-that I would not under any circumstances mention what he saw as a flaw to his character. Of course, dear reader, you may object that I have just contradicted myself—entirely true, but that one case Holmes allowed—in fact, encouraged, publication-declaring that I was "to not deprive myself another time of the credit (he felt) that was justly deserved."

It was not long after that particular case—so short a time that no new cases had been presented to us—that we found ourselves trapped in Baker Street, for a violent rain had that afternoon started relentlessly pouring. Although rain generally does not improve anyone's mood, it worsens Holmes's considerably—no cases can be advanced nor accepted, and he cannot observe passersby when there are none to see. He now moved about, restless, going to the window and then to the bookshelves, and then to the window again. I attempted to make the best of the rain and sat reading comfortably near the fireplace.

There came a knocking at the door, which I confess I barely noticed over the torrent. Holmes stilled for a moment, and I put down my book as a cry of surprise issued from Mrs. Hudson downstairs. "Mrs. Hudson?" Holmes cried out, striding toward the door.

After a moment, there came a reply. "Nothing, Mr. Holmes. I was just shocked by...your visitor's appearance, that is all."

"A case," Holmes quivered in excitement. "Someone has braved this miserable weather and has come to give a case he thinks is worth the risk of illness and injury."

I myself was surprised—surely nobody would voluntarily come out on a day like this for a case! But sometimes...sometimes (I supposed) the cost of not doing so would be greater then the risk. I was then interrupted from my musings when the door opened, and in strode Lestrade, dripping wet.

"Lestrade!" I exclaimed, rising from my seat. "You are making this a habit!" I gestured to his damp appearance

Lestrade gave me a small grin, and then turned to Holmes, who abruptly sneezed.

"Lestrade-" He began threateningly, before sneezing again.

"Three, Holmes." The small inspector's grin grew wider, and I realized what he had done. I then saw that the inspector carried with him a box, and I heard a faint mewling from inside. The inspector then placed the box on the floor, and in alarm I saw that he was going to open it.

"Don't—you—dare, Lestrade." Holmes managed, before submitting to a violent fit of sneezing that caused me to worry for his well-being.

"They pine for you, Holmes, I swear it. As soon as you left the Hull establishment they did not eat nor drink. It is of my opinion that they were committing mass suicide out of loyalty and love to you-"

"It is of my opinion that you are mad and malicious, and are using this as an excuse to bring them to Watson and I." Holmes said irritably.

"Most likely the first two." Lestrade said cheerfully.

"And you know perfectly well that cats are more attracted to humans who suffer my same affliction." Holmes complained.

"Perfectly." Lestrade agreed.

"So why in Heaven's name are you bringing them to me?" Holmes exploded, pointing a finger at the box.

"I've told you—they cannot live without you." Lestrade grinned. "Now if you'll excuse me, gentlemen, I must chase down a murderer in the docks."

"In this weather?" I looked at him in horror. "Lestrade, you could drown! Or fall dangerously ill, or..."

"Oh, that doesn't bother me. I know the risks," here he waved a hand dismissively and grinned again.

"Just as I knew the risks of bringing Holmes three cats, one of which is going to have a litter very...very soon."

"Lestrade!" Holmes lunged at him, then tripped as an explosive sneeze caught him in mid-lunge.

"I'll be seeing you, Watson?" The inspector asked, shaking my hand warmly.

"Certainly." I grumbled. Behind us there came a large sneeze, then a crash, and then...

"Watson! Help! I've accidentally let them loose!"

"I'll probably be seeing you at 3 in the morning—the worry will have caused me to go down to the docks and look for you, and possibly aid you in fighting who knows what, and-"

"One of them is clinging to my leg!"

"-then I'll patch you up, accept your kind offer of buying me a drink and an apology-"

"A drink?"

"Get away-get-away-get away-"

"-a drink, and then I'll return to Baker street exhausted and then I'll bump into Holmes, who will have started out looking for me-"

"My experiment!"

"-and I'll apologize-"

"Watson, one of them is giving birth!"

"-I really don't know what he expects me to do. I'm a doctor, not a veterinarian." I finished, shrugging.

"What's the difference?" Lestrade asked, his smile wide. I frowned exaggeratedly at him, then bade him good-bye when he said that he really did need to be catching that criminal.

"Lestrade, don't you dare leave us with these-" Holmes was cut off when Lestrade closed the door behind him. I didn't dare turn around and survey the mess, laughing silently to the point of my shoulders shaking.

"Watson, stop laughing."

I laughed harder.

"Watson, if you don't stop laughing, I'll-" He sneezed.

"Sneeze?" I offered weakly, before dissolving in laughter.

If only it could rain every day.

**Please tell me how I can improve. I was trying to copy the style of Doyle.**


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